How to Help Your Special Needs Child Cope with the Loss of a Loved One

If you’re dealing with the loss of a loved one, the additional struggle of helping your special needs child cope is probably weighing heavily on your mind. Death can bring about chaos, anxiety, and a whole host of emotions, and helping your child with quality emotional support can be vital to their recovery process. The good news is that by tackling this together, you can provide an opportunity for positive transformation and growth in your parent/child relationship. Today, EverDear outlines some ways to help your child manage a loss.

Choose the Right Words and Tone

It’s important to use clear, age-appropriate language to minimize the risk of confusion. Don’t say things like, “We’ve lost your grandfather” or “He’s no longer with us”, as these statements can easily lead to confusion. Child Mind Institute suggests being as honest as possible within your child’s limit of understanding.

Remember, children listen to your tone of voice more than your words, so pay attention to how you’re speaking. If you’re whispering, for example, this can cause them to feel uneasy. They might even think you’re telling them a secret.

Don’t Hide Details

Don’t leave your child’s mind to fill in the blanks where you’ve left out information. Children, especially school-aged children, are smart and resourceful. Left to figure it out themselves, they will search the internet and discover details that you may not have shared. This can lead to mistrust in your relationship.

Listen, and Listen Some More

One of the best ways to help your child is to listen, notes FamilyEducation. It’s important to hear all of their questions, and to answer as succinctly as you can. Be prepared for questions like, “Could this happen to me?” or “Are you going to die?” These are normal questions.

As adults, we tend to prepare our answer before hearing the question, and we read more into a question then what is actually asked. So listen carefully, and answer appropriately. Remember, you don’t have to have all the answers. Saying something like, “I don’t know, I wonder that too” can actually improve dialogue with your child.

Attending Funerals

Many people are confused about whether their child should attend a funeral, and part of this is determined by age. But if your child’s special needs do not impair their intellect, it’s best to let them make the choice in this instance. If they choose not to attend, accept their decision.

If your child elects to attend the funeral, prepare ahead of time to let them know what they might see and hear. It’s okay to explain that their loved one will be in a casket, and that many people will be sad, so they should expect a lot of crying.

Acknowledge that Their Feelings are Appropriate

Everyone grieves differently, and no single grief process is right or wrong. Allow your child to safely display whatever emotions the loss has brought about, whether it’s anger, sadness, anxiety or isolation. Don’t force your child to move on from these emotions, either, everyone has their own pace.

Turn Your Grief into Something Positive

It’s important while you’re taking care of your child to also consider your own self-care. The trauma that comes with losing a loved one, and helping your child understand their grief, can be exhausting. You may even be feeling helpless that you can’t ease your child’s pain.

Find positive ways to harness your emotions and recover control. The first step is making sure your home is free of undue stress and distractions, so that an air of positivity pervades the living space. Simple actions like decluttering, cleaning and organizing go a long way toward creating an atmosphere that is conducive to growth and healing.

Think about ways you can honor the memory of your loved one. Starting a nonprofit is one idea to consider. You could use it to contribute to a cause important to your loved one. If this sounds promising, explore your options with the help of a formation company.

One of the ways to give yourself some valuable peace of mind is to consider your own mortality, and make sure your child will be cared for once you’re gone. Start with these steps:

● Create a special needs trust

● Draft a will

● Appoint a legal guardian

● Name a trustee

● Increase your savings

● Write a letter of intent

● Prepare for any quit claim deeds

The Power of Memorial Diamonds

Memorial diamonds offer a heartwarming way to cherish the memory of loved ones by transforming them into sparkling gems that symbolize their enduring presence. These special diamonds serve as a comforting reminder that the spirit of the departed remains close, encapsulated in a beautiful and tangible form. Children, especially, can find solace in knowing that their loved one has turned into a precious stone that they can keep near, providing a physical focus for their memories and emotions.

EverDear's memorial diamonds represent a unique tribute, capturing the essence of shared moments and everlasting bonds. In the timeless beauty of these diamonds, memories, and love are immortalized, echoing the sentiment that, like diamonds, the connections we hold dear are forever.

As you and your child grieve together, find a way to commemorate the life of your loved one. Share memories, plant a tree in their memory, read some books together. Spending time together reassures your child that they are safe and loved. And helping them through the healing process may help you find peace, too.